Moving forward from a bad day

This past weekend was a hard one for me with my boys. Was one of those weekends where the fighting never stopped, every moment led to more chaos, big emotions until I lost my shit. Lost my shit as in throwing multiple toys in the dumpster…one of those snap can’t take it anymore freak outs on my part…yep mom lost her cool big time. The boys were obviously upset and I was upset….instant mom guilt. All day I was overwhelmed and on edge… the pillar of calm I want to be and strive for as a mom was thrown out the window. Me and the boys sat down and had a family meeting…I apologized, explained that it was my own stress that made me lose my cool, had nothing to do with them and I would try harder to work on my anger and most importantly I loved them…this conversation has happened often in our household. Anyone that knows me knows I can let my anger get the best of me sometimes haha.

That night after the boys went to bed, instead of putting a show on Netflix and sitting in my mom guilt feeling defeated…something I would have done 2 years ago, I sat with myself and reflected. What was stressing me out, it was a long list haha…No wonder I’m overwhelmed. What do I need right now? What are things weighing on me? I made myself a to do list for the next day…this list even had ‘take my vitamins’, its those little things I need to remind myself to do. When life gets overwhelming I cope by retreating, I disengage from everything. So lists give me space and hold my accountable for the things I need to do and deep down know I’ll feel so much better when I do them…. It’s just to do them!!! But what was weighing on me…my middle son, he can push my buttons like no other that one. So I started to read the whole brain child, a book that is about nurturing your Childs developing mind. Ive read it before, but it’s been a long time since and I clearly needed some help again. After reading for about 30 minutes I had more understanding again for my son and tools how to help him and ME. Before going to bed I had a game plan for the next day… I had intention on my next day being WAY better for myself and my boys. I woke up with a feeling of gratitude Monday morning…a fresh start to a new week.

I know I will get overwhelmed with life again, the weight of the world is heavy and the many hats I wear will bring bad days. What I’ve learned is bad days are ok and not going anywhere so instead of trying to avoid them, when they are there ride them out. We can’t appreciate our good days if we didn’t have the bad ones to compared them too. Our bad days are an opportunity to find the good again… and find lessens within them. There is a strength that comes from your own growth that will fuel you to keep going. So when I say let’s start your healing journey… that’s what it is….a JOURNEY. Being ok with the bad but wanting more ease, finding yourself tools and help…. It’s realizing things can get better if you are willing to put the work into it. Its realizing that putting yourself first is NOT selfish, it’s a necessity and the biggest gift you can give to yourself and everyone in your life. It’s that deep down feeling of knowing you want more for yourself and doing something about it. It’s about being inspired by yourself.

Much Love,

Carla